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Funny English SMS

 
•She took me to a private room,put her hands on my waist,took off my Top than put her Lips on mine,Oh thanx GOD I am only a bottle

•I wish I was a tear drop , born in your eyes , Live on your cheeks and die on your lips

•When times comes,to give heart to some1,make sure to select some1 who never break your heart bcoz broken hearts don't spare parts


•Love your friends,As they love U,But never hate them when they hate U,Give your smile to everyone but give your heart to Only 1


•Sweet Candies r nice to eat,Sweet words are nice to say, Sweet People hard to find,OH GOD how did u find me???


•May u be What u hope to b,See all u want to see..Do all what u want to,May ur every wish comes true.."A Very Happy Birthday to u"

•Jungle is empty without u...Plz come here (Mehkma Junglaat)

•A friend is 1% Funny,2% Sweet,3% Caring,4%Loving and 90% Good Looking.. Thats y i m you friend

•I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. That's because Mother Teresa said "Love Animals" !

•A-U'r Attractive B-U'r Best C-U'r Cute D-U'r Dear E-U'r Excellent F-U'r Funny G-U'r Gud Looking H-He He He I-I'm J-Just K-Kidding

•Animals of Jungle decided for a meeting.Every1 came But The meeting hasn't started.Guess y?coz the Donkey is bzy in Chatting

•Last nite I lay in bed,looking at the stars, beautiful sky and da endless horizon & suddenly I thought where the hell is my roof?

•This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, an cat, idiot cat, busy cat!... Now read it without the word cat


•What's wrong with yur cell everytime I call a voice says that that subscriber u dialed is a Monkey, plz contact zoo for details


Someday u may Lose Ur Hair, Ur Teeth, & ur mind,But 1 thing u can't loose is ur good looks,coz u cant lose wot u don't have!

•You are like the sunshine so warm,you are like sugar, so sweet...you are like you...and that's the reason why I love you!


•Love is like war...****Easy to start...****Difficult to end...****Impossible to forget

•Do you believe in Love at First Sight****Or do I have to Walk by Again??:$



•Promise me we are true friends,I m lamp ur light,I m Coke ur Sprite,I m Sawan ur badal,I m Normal ur Pagal,I m Tarzan ur Monkey!


•ToUcH Me* *TeAsE Me* *cOmE On BaBY * pLeAsE Me*


•Accountants are the best lovers. They can do it all night long and keep their balance!



•A beautiful bird flys, U look up it shits in your eyes. U don't weap don't cry , just thank God cows do not fly


•Some times I think y I like u?Sometime i think y I miss u? Some times I think y I love u? Than I feel that I really like Cartoons


•My friend the best quality i like about you is that you are very sentimental 10% senti and 90% mental


•so Sweet is ur SMILE???so Sweet is ur STYLE???so Sweet is ur VOICE???so Sweet is ur EYE?????see...how Sweetly I LIE


• U r thousands of miles away from me, still I'm watching ur every movement on 3 difft channels: Pogo, Cartoon network & Animal planet. Thnx to media


• Santa: Tommy ne meri saari kitaab kha layi
Mother: Ohnu mere kole leke aa mein usnu saja dewan
Santa: Saja ta mein de diti, usdi kauli wala dudh mein pee gaya


• Indian Airlines slogan: A warm experience & motherly treatment... warm b'coz AC doesn't work & motherly because Air hostesses are above 50


• Who is more satisfied, a man with a million dollars, or a man with six children?
The man with six children. The man with a million dollars wants more


• A doting father used to sing his little children to sleep until he overheard the four-year-old tell the three year old, "If you pretend you're asleep, he stops."


• A French in a hotel in NY, phoned room service for some pepper.
Attendant: Black pepper or white pepper?
French: Toilette pepper!


• Manmohan Singh: Weare sending Indians to the moon next year!
Bush: Wow! Howc many?
Manamohan: 25 OBC, 25 SC, 20 ST, 5 Handicapped, 5 Sports Persons, 5 Terrorist Affected, 5 Kashmiri Migrants, 9 Politicians & if possible 1 Astronnaut


• Girl's excuses: Phone mat kiya karo dear, mom hoti hai near, papa se lagta hai fear, baat nahin hoti hai clear. Isliye SMS kiya karo dear without fear n very clear


• What's the definition of a skeleton?
A striptease that went just too far...



• Girl: If u'll try to kiss me, main shor macha doongi.
Boy: Lekin yahan to dur-dur tak koi nahin hai.
Girl: I know but formality to karni hi padegi…


• Gud Morning... Kindly observe SILENCE for two minutes in the memory of those poor mosquitoes who died last night after sucking ur blood. Thanks


• I'd climb the highest mountain. I'd swim the ocean blue, I'd do anything my dear- Just to get away from you




• When things go wrong, when sadness fills ur heart, when tears flow in ur eyes, always remember 3 things: I’m with u, U have money & Bar is open


• In a class, teacher asked: If I buy an item@ 12.75 n sell@15.25, it's loss or profit?
Pappu: Profit in rupees & loss in paise


• Some dead people went to hell & were glad after seeing the board on gate. Why?
Because it reads: NO SEATS EXCEPT FOR SC/ST/OBC


• I have started luving 'U'... I know it sounds ridiculous but I can't control my feelings 4 'U'. Some time later I'll start luving more ALPHABETS.!


• A woman had triplets, she named them Mat, Pat & Tat. She fed Mat from left tit, Pat from her right tit...
Moral of the story: No Tit for Tat



•May our friendship turn into silver, silver into gold, gold into diamonds... and may our diamonds be forever... Then we'll sell it OK? Fifty-Fifty
.

• What do u call a woman in heaven?
An Angel
A crowd of woman in heaven?
A host of Angels
And all woman in heaven?
PEACE ON EARTH!




• What's the diff between Dava &d Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend, that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife, Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.


• I just bought a used car. It's a convertible. You turn the key, and it converts into a piece of crap. -Scott E. Roeben


• Three dreams of a man: To be as handsome as his mother thinks. To be as rich as his child believes. To have as many women as his wife suspects


• Sorry recharge khatam ho gaya. Galfriend ko I luv u bolna hai or recharge khatam. Ab kya kare? Mein batata hoon kya karein. Theke pe jao, quarter lo, 4 peg maro or g/f k ghar k bahar khade ho k jor se chilaao I Luv U. Kabootar mehenga pad jaayega. Rum ka Paua ab sirf 10 RS mein.





• Do you know the difference between a pun and a fart?
A pun is a sudden shift of wit!


• A Chinese couple Mr & Miss Hua got twins without marriage. What did they named them?
They named them as 'Jo-Jua', 'So-Hua'


•Life is small,Live it!


Luv is pure,Enjoy it!


Anger is injurious,Dump it!


Troubles r short,Face it!

Memories r sweet,
Cherish it!


• Beauty is not how you look, it is not how handsome u r, it is not ur figure too... Beauty is the inner self, so change ur underwear daily.


• Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards?
Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says 'To the only boy I ever loved'
Gal: Great! I want 10 of them




• It's the sweetest thing to do. Do it the bed, on a sofa, in the bathroom or anywhere! U must never stop doing it. It's called Prayer! God bless ur naughty mind.



• What's the difference between wife n neighbours wife?
Wife is a chocolate, can have any time. Neighbour's wife is like an ice-cream, shud hv immediately.


• How do u know when kids start to grow up?
Gals grow up when they start to put lipstick n boys grow up when they start to wipe it off!


• A baby fish asked her mother: Y can't we live on earth?
Mother Fish: Earth is not the place for FISH, it's made for SELFISH







• Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec, From birth till my death, my feelings 4 u have never changed. For me, you've always been a headache!


• In chemistry class teacher asked a gal: what r Nitrates
Gal answered shyly: night rates, they r costlier than day.


• Woman has man in it, Mrs has Mr in it, female has male in it, Madam has adam in it, so girls r always incomplete without boys.


• I have started luving 'U'... I know it sounds rediculous but I can't control my feelings 4 'U'. Some time later I'll start luving more ALPHABETS...!


• Ramchandra kah gaye siya se, aisa kalyug aayega, sifr ek dost SMS karega, dusara kamina bas padh ke muskurayega!


• Sharab Ek Bimari hai jo saare samaj ko khatam kar rahi hai. To aao milkar is bimari ko khatam karen. Ek bottle tum khatam karo ek bottle hum khatam karen.


• Can't believe after all the shit they have been through they're still together............Who?
Your bum cheeks!!



• I think I should tell you what people are saying behind your back.……. Nice Ass!!!


• A history teacher & his wife were sitting at a table. The wife asked. 'Anything new at work?'
He replied, 'No, I'm teaching History.'


• Q: What's the diff between mother & wife?
A: One woman brings into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.


• Today is the International day of Smart & Attractive people. Send this to someone who fits the description! Don’t send it back; I've already received hundreds.


• So Sweet is ur SMILE,
So Sweet is ur STYLE,
So Sweet is ur VOICE,
So Sweet is ur EYE,
see .......how Sweetly I Lie.




• Just close ur eyes and think of urself for 10 seconds...... Open ur eyes ! Now you will realize that u have wasted 10 seconds in thinking of a fool.



• I saw u on road today. U were lukin so fine, ur face so divine, ur walk so perfect. My heart started singing a sweet song: Who Let The Dog Out!


• The Japanese have produced a camera that has such a fast shutter speed it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut!


May the fleas of thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.


• Teacher: Four beautiful girls are walking on the road. Change it to exclamatory sentence.
Student: WOW !


• I want you to be with me in a nice restaurant to have Candle Light Dinner & say those three sweet words to you....Pay The Bill.


• Q: Which boy has the permission to get into a girls' bathroom and touch her anywhere he likes?
A: Lifebuoy.


• When u feel lonely and alone & cannot see any one around you, the world seems to be fading away, come along with me I'll take u to an eye specialist!


• Your smile can be compared to a flower, ur voice can be compared to a cuckoo, ur innocence to a child, but in stupidity u have no comparison you r the best.


• If u want the latest MERCEDES BENZ on easy installments of 10 yrs without any down payment.......log onto our website: www.kutteapniaukatmeinrah.com.


• Mom: Andy, where r u off to now?
Son: I`m gonna join the army.
Mom: But, legally u r only an infant.
Son: That`s all right, I`m going to join the infantry.


• Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito to her mother.
Yes, but be aware, pay attention during the applause.


</span>• Q: Why do men fart more often than women?
A: Because women do not keep their mouth shut long enough to build up the pressure.



• A Guy picks up a girl for the date. Why are u wearing ur belt around ur knee.?
Girl: I promised my mom that I wouldn't let you touch me below my belt.



• When you get this SMS, send it to 1 person u love, 1 u hate, 1 u always think of and 1 u wish to kill. Now, keep guessing why I sent it to u.


• My goal is to be a failure! If I reach my goal, I'll be successful and if I don't reach my goal, I'll still be successful.


• Beauty is not how you look, it is not how handsome you are, it is not your figure too, beauty is the inner self, so change your underwear daily.




• Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain and that's where you get your shitty ideas from!

• Consequences of American life style: The wife rushed into house screaming 2 her husband, Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids.




• A young man asks a kind priest: Father is it a sin to sleep with a girl?
Father: No my child but the problem is that u guys never sleep.



• Can't believe that after all the shit that's happened between them, they are still together.
Who?
Ur bums.



• Q: What do you call a fat lady waiting for a bus?
A: A Moti-vaiting.


• Luk at the world as 1 big chocolate cake. It would never b complete without few sweets n nuts. Sweet like ME & nut like U.


• Be careful when a guy tells u that he loves u from the bottom of his heart for this may mean that there is still enough space for another girl on top.


• Like energy, love can neither be created nor destroyed. It can just be transferred from one girlfriend to another girlfriend.


• Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, small people talk about others & legends never talk, they send SMS.


• The first half of our lives is spent ignoring our parents' advice and the second half in trying to keep our children from ignoring ours.


• When u r down & no one is there, don't think of me. When u r crying & no one is there then too don't just think of me, call me up, my incoming is free.


• Look at the world around u; u’ll see God's creativity. Look at the breakfast table; u’ll c God's providence. Look at the mirror u’ll c God's sense of humor.


• A student writes a letter via telegram to his dad. It goes... No fun, send mon, your son!
Dad write back saying...so sad, too bad, your dad!




• I want you 2 know that our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry Ii cry. U lauf I lauf. U jump out of the window... I look down &then... I lauf again


• The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers too. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn't it rain on you?


• I've written a poem for you:
Twinkle twinkle little star,
you should know what you are,
and once you know what you are,
Mental hospital is not so far.


• What's the difference between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of you & torture is thinking of you too much.


• Banta: How does an attorney sleep?
Santa: First he lies on one side, and then he lies on the other.


• Every organisation is like a tree full of monkeys. Ones at the top can only see monkeys below them and ones at the bottom see only assholes above them.


• I hate it when people point to their wrists to ask for the time! I mean, seriously, do I point to my crotch when I need to go to a Restroom?



•When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you.... Why should only i suffer!!!



•"When I was born Devil said...Oh Shit!!! Another GOD!!!..& When u were born devil said ...Oh Shit!!!!Competition...!!! ....


•Fill in the blank...I"m ur .....friend- a)-Cute b)-Sweet c)-Loving d)-Boy/Girl e)-Best of all Reply is a must... ""


•Who said english is easy???Fill in the blank with YES or No... 1.-----I don"t have brain... 2.-----I dont have sence... 3.-----I am stupid....
•" If ur world is spining Round & Round..& Round....Ur heart is beating fast ,do u think its LOVE? na Munna na its called high B/P...


•Merry Christmas, Enjoy New Year, Happy Easter, Good luck on Valentines, Spooky Halloween & Happy Birthday Now bug off and don't annoy me for the next 12 months!!!!


•what happend 2 ur mobile? i was trying 2 call u but i got this msg: welcome 2 D jungle network,D monkey u r tring 2 call is on tree plz try later.

•First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering

•Last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars, the moon and the sky...then i thought where the fuck is my roof


•Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don't worry I don't cry, I'm just happy that cows can't fly!

•If your a Vegetarian to be nice to animals, why are you eating there food


•I'm a killer, i kill people for money, but you are my friend
I KILL YOU FOR FREE !!

•Its been a rough day.I got up this morning,put on a shirt N a button fell off.I picked up my briefcase N the handle came off.I'm afraid 2 go 2 the bathroom

•At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on


•The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?

•i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again


•An independant study has proven dat those who have a bad sex life & who are crap in bed are readin dis message in their right hand!

•I'm @ the police station now been done 4 drink driving.Urine sample was positive so I nicked the sample.they r now doin me 4 taking the piss

•girls are like phones. we like to be held and talked too- but if u press the wrong button u'll be
disconnected!

•MEN-opause MEN-strual pain MEN-tal illness GUY-necologist HIS-terectomy EVER NOTICED HOW WOMENS PROBLEMS START WITH MEN??

•This cat is cat a cat good cat way cat to cat keep cat a cat idiot cat buzy cat for cat 20 cat seconds cat! NOW READ IT WITHOUT SAYIN CAT!

•><(((:>I send dis fish as a sign of friendship Plz take care of it & keep it in mobile & daily put ur mobile in water so tat fish wont DIE:-)


•One day Raja and rani decided to send messages to each other by using Pigeon instead of mobile. The very next day pigeon reached raja without any message. He angried and called to rani.She told stupid "This was a missed call" <i>


•can you lend me 2000 Rs? i need it. please help me out, i know you have it, i wil return it .a sardar asks to ATM machine???????terrorists have kidnapped our lecturers... and demanded aransom of 500000 rs or else they will burn them with kerosene... plz donate. i have donated 15 litres.


•Dear user,your wife can become mother without your struggle!Just SMS 'CHILD' or call customer care at 9890****** & be a tension-free DAD!


•A couple wanted katna(Circumcision)of their son,but they dont know proper word to print,so they printed the word
ng :THE
UTTING CEREMONY OF FUCKING INSTRUMENTS:


•Husband sitting near to his wife n she was driving,Husband:please slow down the speed of car.Wife:No ;please. No; please NopleaseNopls..Husband:the Newspaper ill publish ur correct Age 55 in case of axident; Ohh KHkhkhkhkhkh...


•Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?.?.?.?.... It is just a formality, like two boxers shaking hands b4 the fight begins !


•girl friends are like mobile phone, whenever you want happiness just check inbox, whenever u want to cry check out box, and whenever u want to enjoyment just plug in your charger and enjoy


•Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Everytime!
WIFE satys No, it means -
With Idiot for Ever.


•When you get this SMS, send it to 1 person u love, 1 u hate, 1 u always think of and 1 u wish to kill. Now, keep guessing why I sent it to u. -Sweet candies are nice to eat .. Sweet words are easy to say .. but, sweet ppl are hard to find .. OH MY GOD! how did u find me- u r stupid s 4 super .. t 4 talented .. u 4 unique .. p 4 pesron .. i 4 in .. d 4 demand


•u r a donkey d 4 decent .. o 4 outclass .. n 4 nice .. k 4 kind .. e 4 excelent .. y 4 young


•VERY... Cute, Gorgeous, Genious, Goodlooking, Intellegent, One in Trillions...I think its enuff abt ME,wht abt U....
.....the Heart Beat of my Phone .....is ur Message Tone

•Life without u is impossible, u r in my breath and blood. i cant stay for a second without u, if u r not there i am dead oye hello i am talking about OXYGEN

•When i am not messaging u it does not mean that i have forgotten u, i am just giving u time to MISS ME!!

•Today, tommorow and yesterday there will be .. one heart that would always beat for you .. You know Whose??? .. your Own Stupid!!!


•If ever in your life U R very sad & lonely & feel that U have lost every thing, I will come, Hold your hand, take U 4 Walk on a Bridge & Show U where 2 jump From !!!...

•Roses are red, violets are blue Monkeys like you, are kept in Zoo

•Hey friend remember that without stupidity there can be no wisdom .. & without ugliness there can be no beauty .. so the world needs YOU after all!

•The rain makes all things beautiful.. The grass & flowers 2.. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn't it rain on you?

•Our friendship means a lot 2 me.. U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf .. U jump out of the window ..I look down & then... i lauf again

•Kind, intelligent, loving and hot This describes everything you're not



•I see your face when I am dreaming That's why I always wake up screaming

•My love you take my breath away What have you stepped in to smell this way


•My feelings for you no words can tellExcept for maybe "go to hell"

•Of loving beauty you float with graceIf only you could hide your face

•When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you.... Why should only i suffer!!!

•When u feel sad .. To cheer up just go to the mirror and say .."damn I am really so cute" u will overcome your sadness .. But don't make this a habit .. Coz liars go to hell !!!!

•Hi! i am marrying next week. there will be a small party and only a few people will be invited...so i am inviting you...don't bring any gift with you...just bring someone to marry me


•what is wrong with your cell every time i call a voice comes the subscriber u have dialed is a monkey plz contact zoo for detail

•This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat, 20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!

•Someday u may lose ur hair .. u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur mind .. But 1 thing u will never loose is ur good looks .. coz u cant lose wot u don't have!

•A man on wife’s birthday had no money so he sent a chq of 100 kisses, When he return home his wife said “thanks for chq i got it cashed from banks manager.

•A- ur attractive , B- ur beautiful, C- ur caring, D- ur darling, E – ur exciting, F- ur funny, G- ur gorgeous, H- ur heavenly, I- i am, J-just, K- kidding

•Sory to disturb u its urgent, Can u fax me ur photo graph, Serious matter has com up actually v were playing card and V lost joker…..


•I saw your face as you walked by but then I saw a better guy



•Be friendly with your kids, they choose your home when you are old!

•Be nice to the ones who smoke.. every cigarette migh be their last.


•Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don't care, me don't cry, me just happy that a cow can't fly!!

•Braindetector activated, calibrating, now searching.........still searching......get a good grip of your mobile....still searching.......no brains found.

•Did I not see you yesterday at the mall, with a grey jacket? No? O, than it was a rubbish bag after all! .

•Do not disturb, I am enough disturbed as it is . . .

•Don't feel sad, don't feel glue, Einstein was ugly too !

•E man pays $.2,00 for a $.1,00 item that he needs, a woman pays $.1,00 for $.2,00 item that she does not need.


•For you I would go as far as the end of the world. Do you promise to stay here ?"

•HALLO, this is your mobile. There is no particular problem. I just wanted to leave your pocket, want the smell is unbearable!!!

•Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain.



•How would you like your egg for breakfast.... hard-boiled or impregnated?

•I am not your type ... I am not inflatable.

•I know why I am single, my parents-in-law were not able to have kids...

•I like to compare you with a nice cold glass of beer, beautiful colour, perfect taste, really perfect and when the glass is empty i just take the next one!

•I once sniffed Coke, but the icecubes blocked my nostrils...

•If being ugly would hurt, you would be in pain all day long.

•If you have picture where you look old, keep them. In twenty years you can prove that you have not changed a bit.

•If you really ressemble the picture on your ID, you are not fit enough to travel.

•Ik would like to be a volcano... smoke all day and people say ... look he is working!

•In case of fire read this message.....................................I SAID IN CASE OF FIRE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!

•It is charming, incredibly handsome, extremely good, well shaped, horny,an animal in bed and it knows one French word ... MOI!!

•Love me or leave me. Hey,where is everybody going ???

•My feelings for you are like the sea. " Wild and romantic ? " "No, they make me sick."


•Nice perfume... but do you really need to marinate in it?

•Opticians bend your the rims/frames of your glasses for they are too polite to say that your ears are in the wrong place.

•Read in a hospital... The psychiatrist may nog be disturbed

•roses are red, violets are blue, frankenstein is ugly but what the hell happened to you????

•roses are red, violets are blue, most poems ryhm, but this one doesn't...


•Scientists in the US proved that people who do not perform well in bed and who have difficulties to come hold their mobile in their right hand ..................

•Smoking is allowed in this area, blowing not!

•The more I learn the more I get to know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, so why should I be learning??

•The one who digs a hole for someone else, is sweating blood !

•They dropped your name, can you pick it up ?

•This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat, 20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!

•This is the telephone terrorist team. While receiving this message a virus will be activated. This virus should have infected your mobile by now. Your mobile will be disabled, unless you are ugly.

•This is your boss: "You are allowed to read the newspaper during the working hours and do certainly not miss the job adds."

•We cannot grant you a life insurance policy because you are already 102 years old. "I do not understand. It is proven statistically that at that age only few people die."

•We will now upgrade your brain.......Please wait........Searching.......Searching.......Still searching........Sorry, no brain found !!!

•What he want, I do not want ... What I want, he does not want ... What we want, is not allowed!

•You are never too blond to learn !!!

•You got STYLE... You got SEX-APPEAL... You got the BRAINS... and you sure as hell got the BODY....WAIT!!!!!...SORRY....wrong number

•You have the ones that think and you have the ones that do things. The worst kind are those who think that they are doing things.

•You should know what it takes to look this cheap!

•You used to be so ugly that your mother had to tie a steak around your neck, otherwise even the dog would not play with you

•You will have to cut back on your sex live. What part will you leave out, talking about it or thinking about it?

•You with your beautiful eyes, you with your nice hair, you with your fantastic body ... o, sorry, wrong number

•You’d better not be a dayfly and not having your day.

•Your provider adjusted his rates. The rate is determined by the length of your genitalia, the shorter they are, the less you pay. You can telephone for free from now on!

•It's important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It's also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet!


•i tried to call you from a payphone last night. i put my doner card in by mistake, it cost me an arm and a leg!

•Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i'm playin cards n i'm missin the joker!!

•Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty… so the world needs YOU after all!

•A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home


•The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?


•i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again


• When I send SMS to u, it doesn't mean that u have to do the same... U can also send fruits, drinks, pizza, chocolates by courier. DD & Cheques r also accepted.



•Ravan was sent to court & was asked to keep a hand on Geeta.
He refused saying: Sita par hath rakh kar itni musibat aayi! Ab Geeta pe haath nahin rakhunga

•Plz pass this SMS to all ur friends. A person urgently needs 3 bottles of....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Foster beer (chilled) with chips. It's urgent Cell no & name is as displayed



• People who do lots of work…make lots of mistakes,
People who do less work…make less mistakes,
People who do no work…make no mistakes,
People who make no mistakes…get promoted.


• What is the height of Flirting?
It's When your love letter starts with: TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN



• U luv sumone... u marry sumone else. The one u marry becomes ur wife or husband & the one u loved becomes the password of your emai id...!


• A boy goes to see a cabare dance. His mom gets angry & asks him: Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see?
Boy: Yes, I saw dad.


• A friend is: Who lends you...
Pen in School...


• In French: Bon jour
In Spanish: Te Quiro
In Italian: Teamo
In Yugoslav: Volim Te
In English: Good Morning
In Punjabi: Uth Moya Kam te nahi jana?


• Q: Why do all Afghans carry a piece of sandpaper?
A: Because they need a map.


• An old to Doc: Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.
Doc: That's not senility. Senility is when you forget to zip down.


• Astrologer: U'll meet a young gal who wanna everything about u.
Frog: When n where?
Astrologer: Next semester in Biology lab


• Monday went on Tuesday 2 Wednesday and asked Thursday whether Friday has told Saturday that Sunday is a holiday. Have a Great Sunday...



• Do u know similarity between Dinosaurs and Decent Girls?
Both don't exist.


• Dream makes everything possible, Hope makes everything work, Luv makes everything beautiful, Smile makes all the above... So always Brush ur Teeth


• It takes 15 trees to produce the amount of paper that we use to write one exam. Join us in promoting the noble cause of saving trees. SAY NO TO EXAMS



• Red Rose: Luv
Yelloe Rose: Friendship
White Rose: Peace
Which Rose for u?
Nima Rose. Tan ki Durgandh Dur Kare, De Taazgi



• Thought for the future generation: Don't marry &amp;amp;amp; make a woman happy. In fact remain a bachelor & make several women happy.












































































Posted by kamran akbar on Friday, September 01, 2006 at 6:11 AM |

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